It’s ‘yours’ not ‘theirs.’
Iam not against sharing about your relationship but always remember that its ‘yours’ not ‘theirs.’
I recently got into relationship coaching and realised that the commonest question among many relationships is;How do they keep a partner?
I won’t assure you that there is a standard formula behind keeping a man or woman in a relationship.This is would be a lie because we are all different. What defines a strong relationship to you doesn’t define it for me. What defines an ideal woman for you doesn’t define it for him. We are all totally different.
In many cases we have tried to copy. We listen to stories of ‘them’ that we think are in ideal relationships and think their stories are the icons of relationships. But you know what, “Trying to be ‘them’ is the number one cause of relationship failure.”
We always sit down and discuss our relationships with people, but believe me or not after the discussion, you either leave broken or disappointed about your relationship. Iam not saying am never in relationship discussions, i actually enjoy them because i believe in love and love love. However, unlike others, i don’t commonly talk about my relationship because it’s “mine” not “theirs”, my man is mine not theirs. Its very hard to hear our friends talk ill about their relationships, they always tell you about the surprises, the head-to-toe kisses, and never mention any negative trait about their partners. They paint a picture that their relationships are perfect. In your head after hearing such stories you are like, “I think am in a wrong relationship.” You have started comparing your relationship with ‘theirs’. Yes, am always part of these conversations but i don’t believe everything. Out of 100% i think i take just 3%, because yes, some advise is relevant.
A close friend of mine called me ‘tricky’ after finding out that i was in a relationship for almost three years and she knew nothing about it. It was a deliberate decision. True am abit confidential but i kept silent about it on purpose.
Look at this, you may be interested in a light skinned man and i want a dark skinned man. You may want a tall man and am okay with any height. This means the moment i describe my partner to you since we have different preferences, your first comment will be, “that man is not good for you”’, simply because he doesn’t match your interests. Trust me just a short statement, “he is not good for you” will keep haunting me, and the last i know is a break up not on personal decison but ‘their’ decision. But before all this, why would i tell you, for what reason honestly, to applaud me, sponsor it financially or? There is no strong reason behind talking about your relationship everywhere.
Spill the love, kill the love.
Always believe that your relationship is the best. I believe that by the mere fact that love grew between you, you are good for each other. Learn to appreciate your person for who he or she is not for what he or she is.
Once you decide to relate, assume you have entered a locked cage with only the two of you, and the keys have been thrown in an ocean. You either create life in it and live or suffocate and die in it. By all means you cannot get out of the cage. If you choose this, trust me you will have a piece of mind.
Ignore anything from the other stakeholders of your relationship. We in the first place don’t know their stake in this partnership, Is it positive or negative?
Concentrate on the shareholder, your partner!
We have seen so many people ending up with their best friends’ ex-partners! Why would someone choose to go with a person he called unworthy. “He is unworthy your love.” He wasn’t actually unworthy you just gave more ear to a stakeholder instead of a shareholder and missed out.
Learn to accept people for who they are not what they are.
All relationships are capable of resulting into strong icon marriages, if you realise that the relationship is “yours not theirs.”
Remember, Every white cloud has a dark spot!
